And it ain't good. I've been worried for a while about posting the things I am learning about the incidence of rape, sexual assault, and misogyny in the military, because I've been so gung-ho about women getting into the military at long last. But you need to know what's going on if you plan a military career; you need to know your options, and you need to ask yourself if you're ready to take these risks in addition to the risks of being an ordinary soldier.

There are many good men in the military. There are also a bunch of testosterone junkies who think it is still a boys' club, both in the military and out of it, who will treat you like a junkyard dog and deny that your service is as meaningful as theirs, that your body is yours alone, that you have a right to be there, and, afterward, that your service includes problems that a man's service does not. The Servicewomen's Action Network is one of the organizations working to bring issues to light and to inform women; things are being dragged into the open, but the process is slow. Think long and hard before you make this choice, okay? It starts in the academies and goes from there, so you have to be prepared when you go in.

Plenty of women, including my sister, will tell you that while their experience in the military was hard and they took a lot of hazing, they were not subjected to this. A great deal depends on who's in command. But it's a real problem, and I can't stay silent about it anymore, not when many of you choose the military after reading my books.

Be strong; be alert; be safe. Walk proud. Never feel you have to excuse yourself for who you are to anyone.

edited to add:
A soldier has pointed out to me that guys to are at risk of hazing and rape, and of course the social pressures on them not to report are even greater than they are on women because men don't report these things. She also reminded me there is a problem of drug use and general violence in the military, just as there is in society. If you enter the military, keep your eyes and ears open. Be aware. I think these are good words to pass on from someone who is in the military right now and who knows.